A Belated Valentine’s Day Special
season 1, episode 11
February 23, 2021
Illustration by Carla Camoglio
Hello, my friends!
Today I’m coming to you solo with a little love letter where I tell you why I think abortions are a radical act of self love. I warn you now: it’s all the cheese and cliches that you’d expect on a Valentine’s Day Special, but I couldn’t pass the chance to dedicate an episode about love!
And as a thank you for following me through this journey - a Valentine’s Day Playlist!
Dear listeners,
Your reasons for having an abortion are your business, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification. I don’t care if you used birth control or not, I don’t care if you are financially stable or not, I don’t care if you’re single or not, I don’t care if the time was right for having children or not. Or what I mean to say is that I do care, but I care about you and I trust that you did what you had to do, and for that I am proud of you. You are your best advocate, and I’m here to support you in whatever ways you need to be supported.
You are entitled to feel whatever you feel, from grief to joy and everything in between. And those two are not opposite ends of a spectrum, it’s not an either or. You can feel strong and powerless. You can feel ashamed and empowered. You can feel total joy and freedom while being so enraged you want to break the world around you. Feel it all and feel it shamelessly, unapologetically, feel everything at the same time or let those feelings come to you in scattered moments, but let yourself feel. We are complicated and messy and hold multiple truths.
The world says we don’t exist. But here we are, living. Choosing love over fear. Choosing abundance over scarcities. Choosing to take up space, unapologetically, in a world that is constantly trying to deny us that space.
I believe that abortions are a radical act of self love. It’s about putting yourself first, of putting your family first, of prioritising yourself and your own body. It’s also a radical act of rebellion, of politely declining pregnancy. Saying “no thanks, not for me, not today”. Of rejecting society’s expectations that tell you that you have to become a parent, no matter at what cost. Of rejecting the expectation that women have to sacrifice themselves and their needs for others. It’s a radical act of love to future you and your future children- of saying “this world does not deserve my baby”, not right now, anyway.
I am pro-abortion, just like I am pro-universal health care, pro-paid parental leave, pro-abolition. I don’t believe that abortion is a last resort, or a worst case scenario, or a Plan B. I don’t believe in avoiding abortions, or reducing abortions. I am pro-abortion because I am pro-life, I am pro-sex, and I believe in a world where love is not a commodity, where we can love unconditionally and where we can prioritise pleasure. I believe that abortion is one of the tools that exist for people to create the life they want for themselves. Because I believe that babies should be born to a world that welcomes them and supports them and their existence fully. Because with abortions come intentionality. The intentionality of putting yourself and your community first.
I love abortion, and implying otherwise would mean denying the history of women who have been in control of their own fertility since the beginning of time. It would be denying the perseverance, the resilience, the power of women, of people who get pregnant. We have the responsibility to shape a future that is centered around justice. A responsibility to dismantle the boxes that categorise people and their pregnancies. That categorises humans as wanted and unwanted. That encourages some pregnancies and looks down on others. That celebrates some babies and neglects others. We have a responsibility to take down this world and build a new one - where we honour the abortions and the pregnancies and the births of everyone.
As the incredible Renee Bracey Sherman says, everyone loves someone who has an abortion.
And I love you.
Yours truly,
Camila
